Sheryl and David just don’t get along; their relationship at work has been chronically difficult. Personality clashes are a problem for Simone and Avi. Dereck is having a hard time with verbal abuse and harassment.
Do any of these sound familiar? Hopefully not, but let’s be realistic. Regrettably, finding workplace conflict examples isn’t difficult in most environments. The key is recognizing negative conflict and learning how to handle conflict at work.
Isn’t conflict at work inevitable?
An important note: It’s true that some conflict can prove motivational or inspire new approaches and innovation. However, there is a difference between “healthy, positive conflict” and the examples we alluded to in the introduction. According to The Center for Management Organization & Effectiveness, the costs of workplace conflict can be high, including increased stress, undermined collaboration and communication, and derailed productivity. Conflict at work can even lead to unhappy employees seeking to work elsewhere.
We’ve already discussed the costs of workplace conflict and what managers can do to help. This follow-up article focuses on specific common types of workforce conflict to share specific strategies for individuals who find themselves in these situations.
Types of conflict you might encounter at work
You might be lucky enough to have never experienced conflict at work. If that’s the case, odds are that you work from home, independently, and your furry colleagues take out their frustrations on each other rather than you (as long as you feed and walk them). Realistically, most of us can expect to experience some form of workplace conflict. The main types of interpersonal conflict seen at work include:
- Disagreement about facts (e.g., “the client wants an ebook on cybersecurity” versus “we need to give them an explainer video”)
- Disputes over policy (e.g., “but, the rules say this” against “no, that policy means this”)
- Personality clashes (e.g., the person who likes to leave things to the last minute and the colleague who wants tasks done in time to review them twice more)
- Value conflict (e.g., “it’s important to me that I am the first in and last out every day” versus “as long as I get the work done why do my hours matter?”)
- Misunderstandings in which people think they disagree but actually are in alignment, just not communicating effectively
- Differing approaches to how a conflict should be handled
Strategies to counter workplace conflict
Whether it’s between employees, between managers and their team members, between leaders, or between company and client or vendor, conflict needs to be effectively addressed. Unresolved conflict at work can have negative impacts on project success, company culture, employee engagement, and, as a result, the business bottom line.
If you’re in a conflict situation at work, these approaches may help you manage the problem.
1. Practice psychological flexibility
Everyone is different, but we’re all likely to get caught up in our own thoughts and feelings. Without psychological flexibility we might get stuck in our perception of events, let our emotions get the better of us, or take actions driven by adrenaline. Remembering that our perspective is just one way of looking at something can help
Instead, with psychological flexibility, you’ll try to slow things down. You can mentally take a step back from the situation. Physically, you’ll want to take some deep breaths and maybe walk around outside. You need to find the space to connect with what is truly important in the situation. Notice what choices you have. Try to understand the other person’s perspective. Think creatively about ways that you can get unstuck.
2. Listen actively
We can’t resolve conflict if we don’t fully understand what has caused the problem in the first place. Active listening requires you to not only hear the words spoken, but also process what is being said. You’ll focus on what the other person is saying, paying attention to the information they’re giving you (as well as trying to understand their meaning). Instead of anticipating what they will say or thinking ahead to your response, you’ll engage in the practice of listening intentionally.
3. Avoid making it personal
Focus on behavior and events, rather than on personality clashes or value differences. Finding fault or blaming typically makes someone feel under attack.
Specific examples can help to make your point when you talk with the other person. Phrasing your concern as “when this happens…” instead of “when you do…” can help avoid putting your listener on the defensive.
4. Find points of agreement
Negotiating conflict is simpler when you can summarize what you agree upon. Finding common ground can help take you out of the “I-centric” view and put you in a more “we-centric” frame of mind. This can also help you find your shared purpose, which may make it easier to reach common ground and plan for a suitable solution.
Ask for help
It can be easier to resolve conflict when you involve an outside perspective. You might reach out to HR or your supervisor to help you and your colleague(s) address the issue. This objective mediator could schedule a meeting with you both and set ground rules for how you discuss and navigate the conflict. They can also flag when someone is making it personal and try to keep the effort at conflict resolution on track.
Keep in mind: Workplace conflict festers, so if you’re wondering when to take action, the time is now.
Conflict at work can escalate too easily. Others may be dragged into the drama. People might skip meetings, take time off, fail to attend team events, and even quit to avoid the conflict. It doesn’t have to happen to you. With the vocabulary to understand the most common types of workplace conflict and these ideas of how to approach conflict at work, you can take positive action.
Does your company want to take its own positive action to understand workforce conflict? Try an Employee Pulse Survey to learn more about what matters to your people. Sogolytics can help.
