As more people return to the office, the potential for workplace conflict rises. If you’re facing personality conflicts or power struggles, you’ll be wondering what to do to defuse the tension. This article discusses how to navigate conflict at work.
Conflict at work can have negative consequences for both you as an individual and for your organization. You might face discipline. You could be viewed as “difficult to work with” and get left out of teams or lose out on mentorship, promotions, or continued learning opportunities.
For the organization, workplace conflict is a big factor in employee stress. It can hurt productivity, ability to collaborate, and dampen innovation. Plus, it can lead to turnover.
And, right now, as individuals returning to work environments after being offsite during COVID-19, conflict at work is a greater risk. “People are generally more irritated than they have been in the past after two years of a global pandemic, which means that minor issues which might previously have been permitted to simmer are now escalating,” says conflict strategist and career coach Susannah Margison.
Recognizing that conflict at work is inevitable, we’ve rounded up advice about how individuals can handle conflict at work.
Avoid letting your emotions take over
You’re angry. You don’t want to hear this, but take a breath. Just taking a deep breath when you are in the midst of conflict can help you slow your emotions from over-riding your better instincts.
If you are in the middle of stressful situation get up for a cup of coffee, go get a drink of water, or visit the restroom to get a break from the conflict. You’ll be able to regroup and avoid saying or doing something you might regret later.
Don’t let the conflict fester
If you are one to avoid confrontation, you might just hope the problem will go away. Or, you might be reluctant to bring up the issue as the person you are in conflict with is higher up in the hierarchy than you. However, unresolved conflicts seldom magically disappear and doesn’t help you learn how to navigate conflict at work in the future either.
If you’re not getting along with someone, open communication is typically the first thing to go. You may have to be the mature adult and approach your colleague asking to discuss the issue getting in the way of your working relationship.
Note, however, there is still wisdom in the phrase “pick your battles.” Certainly, you want to start out by gauging whether this is actually your fight. If there are 17 things that drive you insane about a colleague, prioritize the most important thing to address first.
Focus on the problem, not the person
Describe specific instances of the problem that is causing the conflict. By saying “when this happens.” instead of “when you do…” you are focusing on behavior and events rather than personality. This will help keep the conversation constructive as the individual is less likely to feel under attack.
Along these same lines, keep in mind that your perspective of what is going on can be entirely different than your colleague’s. Don’t jump to conclusions. We all have a tendency towards naive realism, which the Harvard Business Review describes as believing “that we’re seeing the issue objectively and correctly, and anyone who has another view is uninformed, irrational, or biased.” Try to give people the benefit of the doubt and assume that they have good intentions.
The same HBR article also discusses the concept of “fundamental attribution error—an inclination to assume that other people’s behavior has more to do with their personality than with the situation, while believing the opposite of oneself.” For example, if you miss a deadline because of circumstances beyond your control. Yet when the colleague does the same thing, you might think they are lazy, disrespectful, or trying to mess with you.
Listen actively
It’s one thing to hear what someone is saying but another to listen carefully to try and understand what they are saying. By listening actively and not trying to think ahead to how you will respond, you are more likely to have a useful dialogue.
Active listening also involves:
- Reducing distractions
- Asking clarifying questions to ensure understanding
- Focusing on tone as well as words
- Reflecting on what the person has said
Maintain a can-do attitude
Any time you approach a problem from a “this will never work” frame of mind, you’re already in trouble. Try to discuss your concern with your colleague taking a collaborative, “let’s-work-out-a-solution” attitude.
Instead of saying “you always do this” or “you never do that” try to avoid absolutes. Then, listen actively for areas of agreement and disagreement. Trying to reach a consensus about the areas of conflict can help you to find a solution.
Talk to allies you can trust
Don’t underestimate the value of having someone at work that has your back. “Approach them ahead of time and ask them to support you in meetings,” suggests Dr. Beatrix Dart, executive director of the Initiative for Women in Business at the Rotman School of Management at the University of Toronto. “Simply say, ‘I need to bring up this topic and it would be fantastic if you could back me up.’”
Be willing to forgive and forget
Holding a grudge is not going to help. You spend the majority of your hours away from home in the office. So, it’s important that you can be civil and professional around colleagues. This could take a willingness to let bygones by bygones.
After making the approach to discuss the issue, actively listening, and working to reach a solution, be ready to move on.
There’s a lot you can do to deal with these stressful situations before they escalate! Need a quick cheat sheet? Here you go!
What are 5 ways of handling conflict in the workplace?
- Communication – Talking with the other person can help a lot to clear misunderstandings and pave the way for conflict resolution.
- Listen – Carefully listen to what the other person is saying both verbally and nonverbally to gain better understanding of both sides.
- Collaboration – Point out where you agree and disagree to promote collaboration between parties and ease conflict.
- Plan – Make a plan on the resolution, so both sides are on the same page, while also making sure you follow through with the plan.
- Grow – Continue after the conflict is resolved to build on future success as you learn from previous experience
Sometimes a conflict is too far gone to be solved by a discussion between you and your colleague. In that case, you may want to get HR or a supervisor involved to better understand how to navigate conflict at work when it can’t be resolved through individual means. This series next shares an article on how managers can work to help resolve conflict. No matter what, asking yourself “How do I handle conflict in the workplace?” is a great first step to resolving issues at work. This article can help you with tips to face difficult times.
In the meantime, if your organization is getting derailed by conflict, you might want to do an employee pulse check or engagement survey to get to the root of the issue. Sogolytics can help. Contact us today.
