As he mumbled “Sorry” for perhaps the tenth time that day, Glenn wondered where all the apologizing had come from. It wasn’t that he was making mistakes. If anything, as a team lead, he was doing his best to provide a positive example in both his work and his behavior and to deliver honest and helpful feedback.
For the first time in his decades-long career, though, he found himself apologizing over and over again, especially when providing negative or even neutral comments.
Was it the pandemic? During those few years, the growing focus on being more mindful and sensitive toward others – clearly an effort started with the best of intentions – had led to an environment of abundant caution.
Now, with trends like remote work waning, will over-apologizing stick around?
Or, with apologies to Glenn and everyone else dropping “sorry” into conversations well beyond the necessity, can we just cut it out?
In this article we’ll explore four ways that a culture of over-apologizing at work is negatively impacting Employee Experience (EX) and performance negatively.
1: Over-apologizing makes employees less confident
Glenn wasn’t the only one who felt exhausted playing polite to the point of self-negation. As a lead, his team members took their etiquette cues from him. This extended to interactions with colleagues as well as clients. In any business built on innovation, critical thinking, and confident problem-solving, such a culture was turning out to be counterproductive.
Over-apologizing leads both peers and clients to question the confidence and conviction of team members when it came to ideas and recommendations. Of course, this creates a vicious cycle in which the doubt of others causes self-doubt among employees. For new team members without deep experience and credentials, this cycle can be especially devastating. For experienced team members, though, this kind of a cycle can lead to questions about whether that person has lost their edge.
Across organizations, 51% of employees lack confidence; they are increasingly unsure if they will be able to meet goals related to their current roles and careers. Multiple factors contribute to the trend. Lack of regular positive communication and feedback on their capabilities and performance remains a top contributor. Implied expectations around being overtly mindful of every move at work compound the gap. In this area, it’s clear that workplace communication improvement is critical to setting expectations.
2: Over-apologizing leads to loss of trust in leadership
In an already stressed work environment, employees turn to leaders for empathy. However, where leaders lack emotional intelligence, they fail to see the emotional challenges connected to a “sorry culture” situation. If anything, they may see the behavior as an appropriate way to express sensitivity toward others. This lack of EQ and team support can easily lead to a situation in which employees lose faith in leaders who simply don’t understand the problem. While enhancing leadership empathy is an admirable and important goal, it’s not a quick fix. EQ takes time to build – and employees don’t always have time to wait.
It is no secret that a high-trust environment is critical to optimum employee engagement and performance. Empathy at work, especially from leaders, is key to making employees feel safe. It is equally important that it is expressed regularly at both levels – individual and interventional. When leaders fail to actively address the problems in an environment that normalizes casual apologizing, employees begin to lose trust in a shared vision.
3: Over-apologizing negatively impacts DEI goals
As organizations work to examine their policies and practices in diversity, equity, and inclusivity to ensure they’re fostering a culture of belonging, an apology-forward trend threatens to undermine employees’ sense of their roles in the organization. DEI challenges in the workplace will not be solved with apologies – and in fact, they can become worse.
Imagine that on your team, the only acceptable way to deliver honest, critical feedback is to start with, “I’m sorry, but I’m not sure if I’m getting the intention here.” While the goal may be to treat the other person with respect, the reality is that the self-doubt and apology in this line makes the speaker sound a bit pathetic. Who can feel like they’re part of the team when they’re groveling?
Such rising inequity has the potential to keep companies from advancing on DEI metrics and human sustainability. In the absence of intervention from leaders, a growing culture of over-apologizing can lead to multiple DEI setbacks. Team members find it difficult to bring their authentic selves to work. Even when they show up, quiet quitting takes over. This then results in faster churn, making it difficult to close the gap on DEI goals.
4: Over-apologizing makes employees feel unvalued
When employees feel compelled to apologize while going about everyday work, they begin to feel unheard, unseen, and unvalued as both people and professionals. This has a direct impact on employee productivity as well as employer branding. Increasingly, professionals want to work in an environment that offers them a sense of belonging.
Consider again the example of Glenn, for whom the apology-first culture led to self-doubt. Despite years as a high performer, he began to worry whether the company valued his worth, and if he was even a good fit anymore. As you can imagine, there’s a high likelihood that someone in Glenn’s position would start to look elsewhere. With years of experience and expertise, there’s a good chance a competitor would be happy to have him on board.
Better understanding leads to better culture
How can company leaders learn that over-apologizing is an issue in their organizations?
In many cases, organizations lack a systematic approach to employee feedback. They end up with “insights” that are fragmented, misrepresentative, and generally useless. Because the results can’t be used, employees who took the time to share feedback are unlikely to do so again.
We all want a better workplace, and this means taking on a number of challenges. We need to see workplace communication improvement. We need to work on enhancing leadership empathy. We need to address DEI challenges in the workplace. Tackling top challenges means identifying priorities, understanding current issues, and taking action on what’s learned in order to build a better culture.
A culture where employee sentiments are acknowledged and addressed without losing time is key to establishing positive EX. This demands replacing traditional tools with an end-to-end EX management platform. Keep in mind:
- Employees need you to engage them across channels and touchpoints throughout their journey. Leverage AI and automation to ask relevant questions at the right time
- Employees expect you to tune into their psyche and intervene without losing time. You can track employee pulse and democratize access to team leads for immediate action.
- Employees want you to fix problems at a speed usually resolved for customer issue resolution. This is possible only if you have the analytics and tools you need at your fingertips for effective resolution.
Ready for an end-to-end EX management platform that transforms how you work? Learn how SogoEX can help you monitor sentiment, tackle issues, and build a stronger culture. Connect with our team today!
